When Everything You Tried As A Parent Fails...Remember This.
We want our tools to work. We want to see results, but sometimes we don't.
When these moments happen as a parent, it’s easy to try to resort to force and control. It’s important to stop and realize, the goal isn’t control.
One day I had a tight schedule, I needed to drop my daughter off at school and quickly get to a very important meeting. No matter what I tried, I could not get my daughter to get in the car and get in her car seat. The more this went on, the more stressed I got, the more upset she got, and the more my schedule was looking like it was going to collapse. I heard this thought,
“What’s more important, being on time, or your connection with your daughter?”
Connection is always greater than control.
As a parent you have to let go of control, you have to let go of your schedule, your deadlines, and make connection the priority above whatever seems more important at the time. When your kids are misbehaving, they’re trying to get a need met. I’ve sat with my daughter for several minutes in her “No Fun Chair” for several minutes, holding her while she cried.
At the end of the day, when the tools weren’t working, she needed love.
She was able to calm down and instead of severed relationship through control, our bond got stronger. Be able to ask your kids, “what do you need?” The sooner we begin to ask what they need, the sooner they will be able to communicate their needs. Connection is the most powerful tool you can use in parenting. You need your connection with your child more than you need to be on time.