The Disconnected Dad: Escaping the Victim Mentality

Hey, guys! I’m Seth Dahl. I am a husband, father of three young children, and pastor at a large church. If you didn’t already know, I’m on a journey to becoming “The Disconnected Dad.” I set apart 30 days where I lived without the internet in my home, logged the effects it had on my connection with my family, and now I’m sharing it with you in a podcast. The Disconnected Dad podcast is available to download on iTunes.

In the last episode of The Disconnected Dad, I shared that things were getting down to the nitty gritty. It started to get difficult for me to not reach for my phone, and I noticed that, even without it, I still found myself checking out. Technology is not the real problem. The way I use my phone, social media, and the internet simply reveals something deeper. I left myself with the question “What problem am I trying to solve?”.

We are officially halfway! It is day fifteen, and it still is feeling a bit tough. However, I’ve noticed an exceptional payoff in relationship with my kids these past three days. Though there hasn’t been an extreme change in the need for discipline, I have noticed that I look at discipline differently. Before, I looked at discipline as a distraction. Now, I look at discipline as an honor. It’s a privilege to help my children grow, understand relationship, and deal with tension.

Many of us live with a subtle victim mentality. In the past we were deeply hurt by something and it causes us to shift our focus towards what we want to avoid. We focus our attention on the negative and we live our lives in reaction. For instance, rather than trying to live in peace we try to avoid anger. We focus all our attention on anger so we end up angry. I’d like to spend my focus on the things that I do want. I want my family to feel steady, secure, full of love and truth. I want my kids to feel safe in their own home, to feel free to express and connect with Lauren and me.

That’s why I did this. That was the problem I was trying to solve. I don’t want to live life in a reactive state. I don’t want to live at the mercy of notifications, vibrations, or alarms. I want to aim towards and pursue the things I care about, things like connection.

To hear a more thorough breakdown of my last 3 days, as well as an exclusive interview with my wife, make sure you download the Disconnected Dad podcast available now on iTunes! Make sure to subscribe, rate, and review!