I recently sent an email asking several people in my life for honest feedback. Because I wanted to find out how I was showing up to the people I love most, I asked them to let me know three areas I can improve in. Some were family, some friends, and some colleagues (people who lead me, people I lead with, and people I lead).

What happened is truly priceless: People all around me let me know areas I can work on, some of which I have already begun to change. In the areas I couldn’t immediately begin to change, just knowing I can improve there has me set to do so. I am now empowered to notice those areas as they are happening. For example, one person said I have a tendency to be so passionate I can interrupt people unknowingly (which can make people feel like what they are saying doesn’t really matter to me). In the first two days, I saw this coming three times and my newfound awareness helped to interrupt my interruption. Simply knowing what I can change positions me to make a change!

I'm blessed to have people in my life who do not hesitate to give me good feedback when I’m affecting them in a negative way. So in some ways, I have constant areas I can improve. This feedback is not asked for, but definitely welcomed. I also have others who would never say anything, even if I asked. Which I why I sent out the email.

I wanted to create a safe place for people to give me feedback they may not otherwise give. If I’m affecting people negatively but I don’t know I am, I cannot change. I will think everything is fine, that how I’m treating them is just wonderful, and I will continue on doing what I’m doing. Living in this way can slowly erode relationships, and one day they fall apart, which comes as a surprise, because I thought everything was fine.
I don’t want this. What I do want is to know, so I can grow. Growth is so critical, it’s one of the few things we need in life. Some have even said, “If we aren’t growing, we are dying”. So instead of dying, why don’t you try giving yourself an opportunity to grow really fast.

Here is the email I sent out:
Dear friends,
Thank you so much for reading this email, this isn't an easy one for me to send, but it's extremely important to me, so I sincerely appreciate you investing your valuable time reading it and hopefully responding to it.
I'm only sending it out to a group of select people, who each know me well and I'm hoping will give me honest feedback about my strengths, as well as areas I can improve.
I've done a couple times before, and it has helped me grow and improve so much I decided to do it again. In order for this to work, I need to get a more accurate picture of how I'm showing up to the people who matter most to me.
So, all I'm asking is that you take just a few minutes to email me back with what you honestly think are my top 2-3 areas of improvement. Of course, since I do really love words of affirmation, if you'd like to include areas I'm doing great in, please feel free to do so!
Please don't sugar coat it or hold anything back, I won't be offended at all, in fact, the more brutally honest you are, the more I'm in position to make positive changes in my life.
Thanks so much, I appreciate you being in my life.

I was inspired to send this email by a book I read called “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod. If you do send a similar email out to friends and family, I’d love it if you'd leave a comment on here with one area they gave you to improve on. It will give all who read it a chance to see if it’s something they can watch for in their lives as well.

Disclaimer: The book “The Miracle Morning” changed my life and I loved it. This does not mean I agree with everything written in it. Just because I don’t agree with someone does not mean I close myself off from learning from them, or from them influencing me. I decide what I allow to influence me without closing myself to the person. Look at it from a food perspective, I prefer chicken, real chicken, with tendons and bones. I do not like over processed boneless “chicken”, which probably has a lot less chicken in it than we realize. Most people in life and the things they think and believe are like real chicken, you will need to separate the meat from the bones. You eat the meat and throw away the bones. You don’t toss out the entire chicken because there are some parts you won’t eat. And just so everyone knows, when it comes to people, you will probably never find a “boneless chicken”, I mean, you will probably have something you disagree with in everyone you meet. So disagree without disrespecting, and without closing yourself off, decide what you do and don’t ingest.

How To Grow Really Fast