CONTEST: Win A Copy of One Of Seth's Favorite Books!
In my work with children, as well as in my own family, my dream is to see the children under my care grow up healthy in every area of their lives. Several years ago I began to dream of a generation who has healthy relationships, who know how money works, and know how to live spiritually and emotionally free. In other words, what if we could raise a generation who never get divorced, never go into bad debt, and never need deliverance ministry? I’ve been on a journey with God and people ever since to discover how we can see this happen.
In 2014, I was invited to hear a speaker at a local university. As he spoke, I, along with hundreds of other people, sat on the edge of our seats the entire time. I had no idea I could learn so much in two hours! I purchased everything I could as I left the meeting, and shortly thereafter, my wife and I read one of the books I'd purchased.
The speaker’s name is Dr. Tim Elmore and the book we read is “12 Huge Mistakes Parents can Avoid”. We talked it over chapter by chapter, looked at our own lives as we were growing up, and made some decisions for our children. Before I go any further, I want to tell you the whole point of this post. I was so impacted by this book that I want everyone who allows me to have some influence in their lives to know about it, and I am even giving five of these books away!
Here’s a list of the "12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid" that I think every adult should be aware of, even if you aren’t a parent.
1: We won’t let them fail.
When we remove the possibility of failure, we dilute kid’s motivation to excel.
2: We project our lives on them.
When we project, kids are pressured to become someone they are not.
3: We prioritize being happy.
When happiness is the goal instead of a by-product, it is elusive and disappointing.
4: We are inconsistent.
When we are inconsistent, we send mixed signals and breed insecurity and instability in kids.
5: We remove the consequences.
When we remove consequences for actions, we fail to prepare kids for the future.
6: We lie about their potential and don’t explore their true potential.
When we distort, disillusionment results from dreams that don’t match kids’ gifts.
7: We won’t let them struggle or fight.
When we eliminate the struggle, kids are conditioned to give up easily without trying.
8: We give them what they should earn.
When we give them too much, they don’t learn the art of working and waiting.
9: We praise the wrong things.
When we affirm kids’ looks or smarts instead of their virtues, their values become skewed.
10: We value removing all pain.
When we take away pain, kids’ ability to endure hardship or loss atrophies.
11: We do it for them.
When we do things for kids, they can become lazy, unmotivated to grow, and disabled.
12: We prepare the path for the child instead of the child for the path.
When we prepare the path, kids’ childhoods work fine, but their adulthood looks bleak.
Here is one of the most challenging quotes in the entire book, from Mistake #11: We do it for them. "Children have a much better chance of growing up if their parents have done so first” (Susan Peters).
I’ll finish by telling you how this book helped me, since I’m asking you to do the same. As the quote above mentions, I discovered I actually hadn’t grown up as much as I thought I had. Reading the mistakes helped me to see where I currently am, and to make decisions about how I want to raise my children. It brought a whole new level of intentionality in both my parenting, as well as my work with children.
Even if you don’t win the contest, I’d encourage you to at least look into this book. After all, I can’t raise a healthy generation all on my own.
I'd also encourage you to follow Tim on Facebook, his posts have benefited me greatly.
You can purchase the book here!