One Reason Children Don't Trust Their Parents

Typically, bedtime at the Dahl house looks like me praying over my kids, and taking them on what I call “A God Adventure.” But one night recently, I was in a bit of a hurry. I was excited to get over to my friend’s house. We were gonna hot tub and have bro-time. As I was putting my kids to bed that night, I prayed over them, but they were talking a lot and messing around. I ran out of time and I didn’t get to take them on A God Adventure.

As I was driving to my friend’s house, I realized nothing should be more of a priority than spending time with my kids with God, or taking my kids on A God Adventure. I needed to talk to my kids and apologize, I needed to be vulnerable in front of them.

The next morning when I saw them, I grabbed them and said “Hey guys, I need to clean up my mess with you.” This doesn’t happen too often, but when it does happen, they lock in right away, and I have their full attention. “Last night, we didn’t get to go on A God Adventure, and I’m so sorry. I let something else get more important than me and you guys spending time with God together. Please, forgive me.”

Danny Silk says, “Trust is built, and rebuilt by how we clean up our messes.”. Many families have broken trust, or children who don’t trust their parents at all, because the parents don’t take the time to clean up their messes. Parents have made mistakes and haven’t apologized, haven’t explained, haven’t asked for forgiveness and those things build up. One by those things erode the relationships they’ve built with their children.

The best way for you to clean up your messes, parents, is to be vulnerable with your kids. If you see a place in your relationship where trust is lacking, go back and ask yourself if there’s something you need to fix. Healthy relationship with your children is incredibly empowering.

Transparency can become transformation.