Teaching Our Children to Choose Healthy Mindsets
It’s incredible when you realize how much your mindsets affect your life. Psychologists study it, the Bible teaches on it, but how do you communicate the importance of choosing a healthy mindset to your children?
A while back (before our move to Texas), our family went out of town on a road trip. As we were loading the kids into the car, they began to complain, “Ah man, this trip is going to be horrible! We’re going to have to spend the whole day in the car!”
This was the perfect opportunity for me as a parent that I could have easily missed. I stopped them and said, “Well, if that’s what you tell yourself, then yes, that will be true!” They began to ask me more about what I meant. I began to explain how we are in charge of our own mindsets. We decide our mindsets by the thoughts we allow and the way we consistently think.
We can set ourselves up to have a good trip by thinking, “Wow, this could be a great trip. I bet this WILL be a great trip. I think we’re going to have fun!”
When we position ourselves this way, we are “setting our minds” to notice the good things. Every positive experience we have will then affirm and solidify that. Any negative experiences that may come, like driving in a car for 8 hours, will then have to fight against the mindset you’ve already chosen! Therefore, making it much harder to fall into overall negative mindsets and experiences!
The reverse of this is also true. If you set your mind on it being a terrible experience, anything good that happens will have to fight that mindset. You could miss the amazing moments because you’re focused on the negative.
I told my kids, “You guys can have whatever mindset you want, but I chose mine already. I decided, since I’m with you kids and mom, and we get to do special things, that we’re going to have a good time. And I’m going to prove it to myself with every good thing that happens. If you choose a mindset that it’s going to be hard, that’s probably what you’ll get.”
After the talk, our kids decided to change their minds about the trip. It is so important for kids (and adults too, for that matter!) to know how to decide their mindsets. We set the tone for our experiences (and our lives) by choosing what thoughts are allowed to go through our head on a daily basis.
And in case you were wondering about our trip, we had a great time…even the 20+ hours we spent in the car!
What mindsets do you currently have that you want to change? What ones do you want to keep? How can you open up this conversation with your children this week about choosing healthy mindsets?