Algorithm for a Peaceful Home

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It’s amazing how much technology has progressed to predict what our behaviors will be and try to assist. The algorithms (or patterns) they use take our previous actions into account to try to predict future needs and desires. Algorithms come in handy for us to know what will cause people to see our posts on Instagram, Facebook, and other forms of social media. But I’ve also come to realize that my home has an algorithm as well! There are distinct actions I can take that set up my home to be a place consistently full of peace. 

Here is my algorithm for a peaceful home:

1. My number one key is consistency.

It’s true with social media and in your home that consistency is a trait that will work in your favor. Gary Vaynerchuk says, “Inconsistency is your greatest vulnerability.”  You may need to ask yourself if you’ve been consistent! If your answer is no, you usually will need to follow up with this next point. 

2. Key number two to a peaceful home is follow through.

“Do I need to simply follow through on the things I say I’ll do?”

I had a conversation with a children’s pastor a while back. He was asking for advice, and I asked him if he had ever actually followed through and enforced his consequences with misbehaving children. He told me he hadn’t! Following through with what you say you’ll do is essential to keeping the peace at home, in relationships, and in the classroom. If you don’t keep your word, you’re actually reducing trust levels in relationships. Nobody wants that! 

 3. Reinforce the good behavior you want to see happen. 

 On Facebook and Instagram, the things that you like and comment on frequently are noted, and you’ll begin to start seeing more of the things you like. If you want to see more of what you like at home, you need to begin to “like and comment” on what you enjoy!

The other day I got home from work, and I really wanted to say hi to my kids, but they were watching a show. I went up to them and asked them to pause the show and spend a minute saying hello to me. I thought to myself, if I want to keep a peaceful algorithm in my home, I really should let them know how much that moment blessed me. I told them that I loved the way they were willing to pause their show and say hi to me. I let them know I felt loved that they chose me over technology. You want to communicate in your home the things that you enjoy, and you’ll begin to see more of it. 

4. Your intentional presence makes all the difference.

My last point, going along with the theme of social media, was actually inspired by Facebook. Facebook says their algorithm favors Facebook Live over any other platform such as links or pre­-recorded videos. Facebook promotes Facebook Live into people’s newsfeeds the most, and the same goes with interaction in your family. People need and favor live interaction more than anything else. 

If you want to keep a peaceful home, maintain healthy relationships, and if you want to feel seen and heard in your own home, make sure you are being intentional and present in interaction with your family. Make sure you’re consistently true to your word and that you share with your family the things that matter to you. Following these tips will help ensure an algorithm, or pattern, of peace in your home.

Which step stand out to you as most needed in your home? What’s one small thing you can do today to make a difference?